If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
