yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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