butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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