hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
