Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
