What did we do last night that was yellow?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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