oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
