She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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