He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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