I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My dick has a subreddit
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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