cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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