I think i peed on brittanys purse
just tell him i said nine months
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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