I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Enjoy the penises
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
