DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
