i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
