were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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