That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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