he wants to bone in the snuggie
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
