I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
