i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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