What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
