he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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