all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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