Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
