I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
