I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
