what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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