Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
