my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
