4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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