New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
