new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
