Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
