There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
