i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
God, I missed his penis.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
