think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
