Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
