PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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