It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
