We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize
