i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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