I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
