Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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