just come out here and I will go home with you...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
tell me about the eggs
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