everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
