New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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