So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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