your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
