I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
