He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
