it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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