Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Randomize
