Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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